Above The Clouds - Chris 'Preach' Smith

'I Self Lord And Master, shall bring disaster to 
evil factors/Demonic chapters, shall be captured
by Kings..'

                                                           - Guru, 'Above The Clouds' (1998)

When I got word of Guru's passing, I was out and about. In some way
it's wild that his last breath took place on an unofficial holiday for those
enamored of mary jane. The skies were a hundred shades of light blue.
As I traveled from Queens to Bed-Stuy to Manhattan back to Queens again,
I thought about the passing of Keith Elam. Sitting on the J train, my mind
went back to how on a day just like this years ago, I had heard 'Moment of
Truth' in its entirety while sitting in my man Pat's car cruising through
Garden City. That album was extremely dope, but one track stuck with me.
'Above The Clouds', featuring a great guest turn by Inspectah Deck, ingrained
itself into my spirit. The beat didn't have too much heaviness and Guru
delivered a powerful verse directly after a well-placed sample of a John F.
Kennedy speech. That song to me was about the triumph of good over all
negativity. And sadly, it's all too appropriate for right now.

Maybe it's a sign of the times that an important figure's death leaves
us with more allegations than the actual facts. Guru's death from cancer
is shocking, all the more so when you figure he was a couple years shy
of 50. But the biggest shock of all is how one person is robbing his legacy
and he's not even a couple of days cold. That person is Solar, his 'partner'
for the past seven years. Now I put 'partner' in quotes because ever
since Guru's hospitalization, this cat has deemed himself Guru's voice and
in doing so, he's made it clear that he's sunk his hooks into Guru's pockets
and legacy. How else would you explain a farewell letter issued the day
of his death that doesn't EVEN MENTION THE NAME of DJ Premier, who as
one half of Gangstarr was a legend as well? These guys went back years.
I don't care what beef they had, you can't convince me that this man, on
his deathbed, wouldn't even mention his name except to lash out at him.
And why would you give custody of your son to YOUR BUSINESS PARTNER
over your own FAMILY? Solar stands to be the biggest hated individual in
hip hop since Suge Knight circa late 90's for his heinous actions. I've read
and heard the rumors of Guru and Solar being a gay couple. To be honest,
it would explain a lot but people forget one thing...evil is evil. There's no
calling cards for negativity. And if he was, Guru would be right up there
with other noted Black figures like Langston Hughes among others who
were gay.

The biggest issue that remains here is this; if you're a fan of hip hop, if
this culture is a part of your blood and has shaped you in some way, you
know that there needs to be a major push to get Solar to come clean.
Disclose everything, force him to produce papers with legitimate signatures
and make him do it PUBLICLY. Because Guru's legacy was all about the
ability to move crowds and shape minds. Guru's words were all about
destroying negativity. And now negativity in the form of a greedy, evil,
egocentric thief exists in the form of Solar. The truth needs to come out
not only for the sake of the Elam family, but the global family of hip hop
as well. Otherwise, Guru's legacy will live on, but with some degree of
murkiness.

And I'd take that very personal.

Doubling Down on Heart Disease - Chris 'Preach' Smith

There are certain foods you come up with in the kitchen for certain
reasons. You might be low on cash or trying to make what little cash
you have last longer than Charlie Sheen's prostitute expense account.
I remember one experiment from back in the day, called 'Jailhouse
Rock.' Don't even ask how we decided on that name. That concoction
was simple. One cup of ramen noodle soup mixed with Kraft Macaroni
and Cheese. I think I had that maybe once or twice and then it made
me sick as all get out. To this day I shudder whenever I smell Cup of
Noodles being cooked. In any event, hunger can inspire genius, like
chicken and waffles. Or it can lead you down a seriously trippy path.
I've watched 'Man vs. Food' on the Travel Channel enough to know
just how trippy it can get. But last week, KFC made it worse.

When I saw the first picture of their new Double Down sandwich(and
by the way, I don't know if they're trying to make a connection to
poker or not)I had to admit it looked real, REAL good. Two Original
Recipe boneless chicken filets serving as bread with two strips of
bacon and pepper jack cheese and a sauce. And I haven't eaten
pork in thirteen years. But then I started thinking about it fully. A
sandwich like that is an instant hangover remedy. The aroma alone
would make you forget those Irish car bombs you had before. You
could down one and instantly feel better.

Then the steel boot of pain would clamp down on your chest.


Let's be honest, this sandwich is 540 calories. It may not sound
like much in a proposed daily diet of 2,000 calories but add a
drink and a side and you're in trouble. Not to mention the fact
that you can't indulge in that too often. I know, I'm being a bit
melodramatic. But you have to realize, that a good part of KFC's
sales are going to come from the post-party crowd, those office
workers who don't have that much time to get something more
healthy and people in the 'hood who need to get something for
their hard-earned cash. And the common denominator is, if the
food tastes good, I need to eat. I'm not going to worry about my
health now. And we wonder why heart disease is up among
younger folks. It pays to realize that these fast food chains are
in the business of making money, not ensuring your health. The
KFC Double Down should be a warning sign to folks out there
about a good thing really isn't one.

False Rap Idols and T-Shirts - Chris 'Preach' Smith

Enough is enough is enough.

There's been some flat-out nonsense floating around here that
I feel needs to be addressed. Namely, some people out here with
the slogan 'Free Weezy'. As in Lil Wayne. They're in a distinct
minority, but they're out there and they're serious about making
that statement. Let's examine this situation fully; you want to
protest or attempt to protest for the freedom of someone who
PLED GUILTY to having an illegal firearm on a tour bus? Someone
who, if he didn't know the laws of the different states he's going
to be travelling in, has enough paper to employ people who
should know better? If you're advocating for that, you qualify as
an imbecile in my book.

This is nothing new, of course. When Winona Ryder got caught
trying to boost some new gear for herself in L.A. a few years
back, the 'Free Winona' tees were gag items for the hipsters and
the satirists. But seeing tees for Lil Wayne and even worse, for
Max B, who was involved in a botched robbery and murder, is
flat-out ridiculous. These two dudes are entertainers, RAPPERS.
Not necessarily role models, although Weezy does do his part in
the community, I'll grant him that. But it says something about the
mindstate of some of us out there in the streets. It speaks of
being drawn to fluff and shallowness that can't be easily covered
by oversized shades and tattoos. Especially when you consider
that fifty years ago, people were dying in these same streets
so we could live and breathe as equals in this country. And some
of those individuals are now living out the rest of their lives in
near-solitary confinement. You might have heard of them. Names
like Mumia, Leonard, Mutulu. But they're not crunk enough for
those who'd rather see Max B and his unintelligible style on a
stage somewhere. I could see it for Shyne given his circumstances.
But it's a slap in the face to those in prison, in exile and in the
next life when you have that T-shirt or rock that slogan. Because
for every person who wears it in jest, there's another three that
feel that it's a serious movement. I don't know about you, but I'd
be a bit uncomfortable about such things. And I feel that those
individuals need some re-programming real quick.

Stay In Your Lane - Chris 'Preach' Smith

We all know the popular phrase of the block, 'stay in your
lane', right? That phrase is an effective weapon because
you can shut down someone who tries to be something
they're not. And why should this be in constant use?

Because I'm tired of weedcarriers being promoted as if
they're the second coming of Big Daddy Kane.

You read that right. Weedcarriers. Dudes who for all
intensive purposes, are supposed to be in the shadows
awaiting orders. They're supposed to be stashing the
hash, 'boofing' if necessary. (If you don't know the term,
it's better if you ask someone you know to explain.) And
in return they get perks like a regular roadie would like
entry into parties, free liquor and they get to be the
gatekeepers for lively groupies. Weedcarriers should NOT
be putting out albums as if they've got talent. Granted,
there are a few rarities. But for each success you've got
one-offs who try to grab more than their 15 minutes of
fame. Take Max B for example. This dude looks like he
could play Sherman Helmsley in a movie and apparently
did some ghostwriting for Jim Jones. His flow is weaker
than a Seagram's wine cooler yet he's propped up as one
of the best out there. And what has that gotten him? A
75 year stint for being involved in a robbery and murder.
Not 'so wavy' on his part, although he is making progress
on an appeal.

That situation led to another weedcarrier trying to make
a splash, namely French Montana. I've only heard a couple
of verses and that was enough to tell me this dude would
be better off in DeVry. There's a growing opinion that
everyone in Young Money outside of Lil Wayne and Drake
fit this bill of overachieving, underwhelming performers.
The problem with these so-called MC's is, they're not pushed
and promoted for any other reason that hype. And in the
process, they're dumbing down their lyrics because they
don't have lyrical prowess to begin with and as a result,
they're dumbing down listeners. How can someone who
sounds like Mushmouth from Fat Albert's love child tell me
he can spit fire? How could you even distinguish what in
the hell they're even saying? Stay in your lane. I mean,
look at Spliff Star of Flipmode. He had a little bit of shine,
floated about five mixtapes and took a backseat to Busta
Rhymes. And he's STILL getting paid fifteen years later.
How many of these clowns will last past one hit or one
album? If you have to get 'taught' how to rhyme by a cat
who had NO tangible skills to begin with, there's a problem.
(I'm looking right at YOU Waka Flocka Flame.)

To the weedcarriers...you already perform a service and
get compensated at a risk to your own freedom and
personal growth. Stay in your lane, make plans to do
something realistic and make sure your Blackberry alarm
is set in time to get your boy awake and refreshed for that
early morning interview. The world doesn't need any more
non-talented performers. That's why we laugh at American
Idol post-Fantasia.

Gimmicks with Bling - Chris 'Preach' Smith

Seriously though...Waka Flocka Flame.

There's always going to be benefits and drawbacks to being involved
with popular culture. And the major drawback is, you'll find yourself
becoming a part-time cynic because what popular culture ultimately
does is reinforce mediocrity if it makes a few bucks and enough folks
like it to guarantee more money coming in. If it works for artists you
happen to like, then it will be double for artists you can't stand. Even
though I know the ledge, I'll be damned if I'm going to jump off of it
and co-sign some of the garbage out there. And yes, I know there's
going to be a few out there who'll utter probably the most run-into-
the-ground line since Bart Simpson's 'Ay Caramba' which is, 'Chris,
stop hating.' I got a six word phrase for you...'Read a book, get
another verb.'

The point of all this is, there's too much over-reliance on smoke and
mirrors especially in music. And ESPECIALLY hip hop right now. You
mean to tell me people are going to co-sign someone named WAKA
FLOCKA FLAME?!! Dude, he sounds like Fozzie Bear's drunk cousin
off of 'The Muppets' or like he came up with that name after too
many rounds of StreetFighter with Dhalsim and a bottle of Georgi
Vodka. You've got cats out there comparing him to(and I hope that
you're sitting down for this)2PAC. There was an article released
recently entitled, 'Everyone Hates Waka Flocka'. Can you blame
them? This dude is mediocre at best lyrically but that's about all.
He's the 'Laffy Taffy' of 2010 in my book. Then you've got DJ Khaled,
or someone I like to call 'Mumbles', the penguin from 'Happy Feet'.
Anyone who's seen that video of him showing off dance moves
for Kanye West knows what I'm talking about. Dude, you're a DJ with
a catchphrase. And every time I've heard you say it, I keep waiting to
hear that cough caused by a hundred Newport 100 cigarettes. But he
winds up as president of Def Jam South. And he's yelling 'We The Best!!'
everywhere while looking like another confused lackey.


'Chris, stop hating.'
I got a six word phrase for you...'Read a book, get
another verb.'

But what really made me see red was the fact that over this past weekend
I got a chance to see the new artist for Cash Money Records. Kevin Rudolf.
Who? Yeah, I know. He's a guitarist who has played behind Justin Timberlake
and other artists. So this dude has an album out. I've heard one song. Which
is entirely multi-tracked in autotune. Roger Troutman must be cursing up in
heaven right about now. It makes me want to put out an album, and I'd call
it 'They Should've Never Gave You Morons Money.' Is it me or are The GZA's
classic words from 'Protect Ya Neck' now the downfall of record labels? You
have to ask that question because people aren't buying CDs, and digital sales
are key which puts them in panic mode to push these jokers. And think about
how you listen to music normally. You listen to it on the go, or at home. These
are all people who think that music you make mistakes to in the club or in
your boy's car laced off that beer or bag has repeat value. And before anyone
tries to claim that this is a regional bias since I'm from New York City, there's
a bunch of artists from all over who I have and listen to heavily in my music
library. But these clowns? Never. To me, they're nothing more than gimmicks
with bling and bad tattoos.

So the overall point I'm trying to make here is, these guys are here until
the public wakes up and sees through the smoke and mirrors or they commit
career suicide in various ways. It's not like it can't happen...the list of bad
out of work artists is long. But for these guys and others, It can't happen soon
enough for me.