GTFOOHWTBS AWARDS 2012

Holy Shit has it been a year already?!?!? Well you know what that means. Another list of the lowest, dumbest, stereotypical, bunch of lowlifes and their actions. Soooo without further a due…….

 

10. Mitt Romney - Thank Joe Smith this dude did not make the cut. For a brief moment
I thought the need for anybody other than the black guy was gonna force the anti-young on us. Way too close. Middle America you’re on notice. 

 

9. Pink Friday Perfume - Since when did they find the scent of whore, bubble gum, and schizophrenia a pleasurable aroma. Thank you for making tweens smell like Sue’s Rendezvous after Thursday night amateur rounds. I will never look at another sexy school girl outfit AGAIN. 

 

8. Public Massacres - seems like every kid with a bully or social issues is letting bullets rain down with a mighty vengeance. What makes me think is that these massacres happen in Small Town, USA where “this type of thing never happens”. Well it did. Instead of pointing the finger at people, politicians need to intelligently modify gun laws. Assault weapons should be off limits. And I love bussin’ guns. But assault riffles for deer hunting?  Gun nuts please with the ‘Obama taking my freedoms’ shit.  Take a knee for the dumb freaks messing it up for everybody. .  

 

 7. Conservatives - Seems only natural that these guys are next. Lets be clear. Humans should be allowed to be who they are. It’s crazy how a basic freedom which is wide is forced to stick to a dogma that bans things that don’t effect you directly. Like gay marriage. If you are not gay, why does it bother you that they wanna get hitched? Aziz Ansari said it best, if they want to ban gay marriage I should be able to ban tight shirt douche bags with spikey hair from the club cause in reality it is just an excuse to stick it to them. 

 

6. Clint Eastwood - Oh,you senile bag of bones. Talking to the Obama chair and actually hearing something back. Very amusing but like the chair your party’s platform was empty with a bunch of words and ideas you thought you heard. What? What was that? Rick Perry was your only hope?

 

5. Chris Brown & Rihanna - As much as I love to see this chick naked I would really love to see her explain the inevitable f*ckery bound to ensue. Chris you are being watched. The “falling into the doorknob ” excuse might not work. Thank god for foundation. 

 

4. Smartphone Beef - I feel like I’m arguing what’s better,  PS3 or XBox. If I have one more person tell me I should get rid of my phone for another brand, my head will explode. Hey fanboy, maybe the phone I have works fine. There are too many options. I found my fav. Go give your expert advice to someone who gives a sh*t. 

 

3. Waiting On Line - this year I saw 3 separate lines in 3 separate months for kicks. I also saw a dude waiting online for the iPad mini days after Super Storm Sandy. Black Friday brought in its own line madness. Bottom line, there is NO product worth risking health or sleep for that matter. Not unless it is the last bag of rice on earth. 

 
2. Trinidad James - Holy Sh*t Sandwich Batman! It’s crazy when you see a rap video for the first time and you think it’s a parody. Then you get that cold chill and  knot in your stomach when you realize it’s not. I have not hid my feelings on the state of Hip Hop and I won’t expound here. It is now going to be the malnourished child with cleft lip up next. Don’t believe me just watch. 

 
1.  George Zimmerman - I’d like to extent a big F*ck You to this waste of space. Not only did he
get tossed by a teenager, who happened to be black. He shot the kid in self defense. After the police told him to leave him the victim alone. Scared for your life, George? You chose to stand your ground after you harassed a young man walking to a grocery store for snacks? I hope they put this dude in with some of Dade County’s meanest. If he walks I’m encouraging black hammer usage. Why? Cause I’ll be damned if I get popped at because of a misunderstanding. Way toooo many times, WAY tooo many.