Royal Pain - Chris "Preach" Smith

Friday can't get here fast enough.

Maybe then all of this tedious daily coverage will have stopped
annoying the hell out of me. Friday is the appointed day for the
marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton in the United
Kingdom, if you haven't heard already. And for the past two
months, EVERYONE has been talking about it. Barbara Walters,
not too far gone from heart surgery is covering the event minute
by minute along with an army of reporters, bloggers and spectators.
Now you've got talk shows with sections devoted to how you
can look like Kate Middleton from hair to high heels. Someone
paid $127,000 at an auction to buy the see-through dress that
she wore when she caught Prince William's eye. Jay-Z and
Beyonce reportedly will perform at the reception. (Really? U2
and Kanye weren't available?) Let's not forget every single
piece of commemorative memorabilia being hawked on HSN.

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!

Look, I understand the importance of the event. I'm from a
Jamaican family that keeps up with the Royal Family. I even
have relatives over there. But I don't see the need for all the
news outlets here to go absolutely overboard over this. You
would think that being a nation that fought to shake off the
shackles of being a British colony that we'd regard this with
some indifference but nooooooo...there's even one or two
people who are having viewing parties. You know what time
they'll start broadcasting the wedding? 5 A.M. I didn't even
get up that early to catch the World Cup in 2002! Granted,
they make a nice couple and this will probably make up for
both the tragic death of Princess Diana, Sarah Ferguson's
legal issues and Prince Charles'..well..you know..girlfriend.
But I don't see how news stations can devote so much to
this given the fact that we barely get the full story on news
that's important. Like the fact that the rent is still too damn
high. And gas is too damn high. And there's still not enough
jobs. And let's not forget, WAR. So I wish the newlyweds well,
but I'm not joining the Disney-fied fantasy world surrounding
this wedding. Not unless Russell Brand will be gate-crashing.
Maybe then.