Loco Over Four Loko - Chris 'Preach' Smith

They always say there's no such thing as bad press. Phusion
Projects LLC, the makers of controversial malt liquor Four
Loko would tend to disagree with you.

The beverage, which combines caffeine and malt liquor for
a 12 proof rating has drawn the ire of lawmakers across the
country, especially here in NYC where a city councilman
downed two 24 ounce cans back to back live on TV. And
promptly threw up. Here and there on the Internet, I've seen
people decry the removal of Four Loko from shelves, even
having vigils in Union Square. I've got only one thing to say
about all of this. Dial the emotion back a notch.

While I can applaud officials for working so swiftly to get
this stuff off of the shelves and out of the hands of minors,
what about those who've sold it to minors? I know there's
more than a few deli owners and bodega owners who will
gladly look the other way if it means more cash. As we all
know, 'the rent is too damn high'. And they're trying to
survive. I guess nutcrackers and other illegal hooch isn't
a concern as long as it stays in the 'hood. What gets me is,
we can get swift action in the form of Charles Schumer
appealing directly to the President but we can't find a way
to stop the MTA in New York from hiking fares up twice a
year?

As for all of those people who got upset about Four Loko
being off the shelves for good, get a grip. There's always
going to be something more insane on the shelves. Who
out there remembers Crazy Horse? Steel Reserve? And of
course, Cisco(or 'Crack water')? Having a vigil for a drink
like Four Loko is the reason why NYC is getting over-run
by dazed and confused, half-assed hipsters who can't buy
class but can own lofts up on Edgecombe Avenue. Four
Loko is dead and it's for the best.

And for the record, I've never had it. Cisco was enough
for me. But that's another story.