What To Say Goodbye to in 2010 - Chris "Preach" Smith

Call me a sentimental joker, but I love this time of year.

For me, it's about taking time out to relax, and spend some more
quality time with friends and family. I get to reflect on all that's
taken place over the past year and wonder and prepare for another
year to unfold. It used to be easier when we were younger, wasn't
it? All you had to know was that Christmas was coming, all of your
favorite foods would be on the table, 'A Christmas Story' or 'March
of the Wooden Soldiers' would be on the tube and that one toy or
video game would be waiting for you under the tree. Nowadays,
Christmas starts right after Halloween. And with the New Year, it's
all about the hangover, from drinking AND shopping. So I think
it's best to say goodbye to a few things as we close out 2009:


1)Sarah Palin.
   If this woman is supposed to represent the heartland of the
   United States, then the heartland needs a cardiologist ASAP.
   Stop toting your daughter's baby around like it's yours at
   every bus stop. You couldn't even defend yourself against
   Katie Couric, what makes you think that you could even be
   in a position to stand up against the likes of Putin and
   Chavez? Take a powder, Bullwinkle. The soccer mom
   persona went out in the early '90's.

2)Reality TV.
   2009 saw a reality star murdered by her fellow reality star
   husband who then escaped to Canada and committed
   suicide, an outlandish hoax involving a boy and a weather
   balloon that looked like a Jiffy Pop can that backfired, a
   couple who fathered eight children divorcing bitterly and
   whoring themselves to the public and of course a semi-
   trashy star catching a fresh one to the jaw on MTV. I
   think it's safe to say that the reality of some people's lives
   is not only stranger than fiction, but better left alone.
   And for the love of Keri Hilson, DO NOT give that jackass
   Ray J another show. If his sister can't get work, neither
   should he - there's only so much royalty money you can
   get from 'Mars Attacks'.

3)Overdosing on '80's culture.
   Let's be real about this. When your mom bought you a
   Le Tigre shirt back in those days, you weren't exactly
   thrilled. So I'm not buying your enthusiasm when you,
   at the cusp of your thirties, are buying those shirts like
   it's high fashion. People, can we stop with the too-tight
   skinny jeans, the mix and match plaids, the peroxide
   stripes and patterns in the eyebrows? And ladies, if
   Angela Bower didn't look good with shoulderpads in
   her blouse that made her look like she could've done
   some blocking for Walter Payton, it won't make you
   look hot either. And NO MORE PONY SNEAKERS. I'm
   all for nostalgia, I even love it but when you make
   belt buckles out of NES game controllers, there's a
   serious problem.

4)Celebrity 'Beefs'.
   You knew this got out of hand the moment Al Roker
   got caught up in some mess.

5)Texting while walking.
   So let me get this right...you've got absolutely NO
   damn coordination in your daily life anyway YET you
   want to try to send a text message while walking in
   public? I've seen so many people catch bad ones
   while doing this that it's not even funny. One of these
   days we'll see a newscaster on air and someone
   behind her will get wiped out by an SUV while doing
   this. It's not safe for anyone, so the text can wait a
   few seconds, okay?!!!

Enjoy your New Year, all you happy people.

Comments

[T-Ann]

aaaaaamen!!!! Simply love it!!!