Tan Isn't The New Black, Sorry. - Chris 'Preach' Smith

So I was reading the Financial Times online and
I happened to read an article detailing the backlash against
a part of the healthcare bill up for a vote in the Senate that
calls for a 10% sales tax on all tanning salons nationwide.
In the article, you have someone  claiming that it's a tax
against middle-class white Americans. A salon owner
actually claimed it was a violation of equal protection.

My response? SHAAAAAADAP.

Let's be honest here...they were originally going to tax
Botox injections. But I guess when they found out that
taxing tanning salons would net them $2.7 BILLION per
year, the choice was obvious. I'm highly supportive of
this part of the bill. Mainly because tanning salons to me
have always represented a weird paradoxical part of
society. I started thinking about this in college when I
would see girls who were lily white, who pretty much
were used to seeing people of color in limited numbers
if at all, go away for spring break and come back with
cornrows or braids that would make Stevie Wonder
jealous and a tan. Well most would; others would look
like the business end of a boiled lobster. And what I
always found interesting is, it was as if some of them
were pretending they were black or latina. And they
would try their best to nab a brother. I do recall at
least one instance where a white girl with a tan tried
to get my number...while I was out with a sister I was
dating at the time. Needless to say, she almost caught
a backhand worse than John McEnroe's.

It seems as if people who are oblivious, have esteem
issues or are out and out walking douches love tanning
in any form. They are part of what I like to call, "The
Oompaloompa Gang." Mainly because their tanning
borders on the absolutely ridiculous. I mean, you've
got people out there who think it's cool to have skin
that makes Florida oranges jealous. And have the same
bumpy texture. And you can't tell them they're not
beautiful. They'll be the ones posing for picture upon
picture in the club, on the beach. And funny enough
(or not), they're sometimes the first ones bumping
Snoop Dogg or DMX in their rides. And that's just
the guys!! Some of them even look like 'Dragonball
Z' extras because they pair their overly tanned skin
with spiky gel hairdos. As for the ladies...well, some
of them get tans that make their skin look like pleather
and if that's not enough, there are a couple that get
collagen injections in their lips. Envy much, ladies?


From Failblog via www.paleisthenewtan.com/ ; seriously, how
sad is this?

So I don't want to hear about tanning being medically good for you
either, which was another argument against the tax raised in the
article. If the World Health Organization has tanning beds and
sunlamps on its list of cancer-causing agents, it's definitely not
healthy in large doses. And quite frankly, the racism argument is
kind of weak especially when it appears that some white Americans
use tanning, artificial or natural, to add extra appeal to themselves
even to the point of almost mimicking the appearance of people of
color. To me, if it means less people looking like they escaped from
Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory are out on the streets, I'm all for
the tax.