Coming up, I was taught chivalry. Chivalry will get you respected by
the opposite sex and get you closer than the next guy when it comes
to the hunt. Amongst the many rules one I often finds myself thinking
on how to approach… the act of opening the door for a lady. It may
seem petty, but this small act or lack thereof can get complicated. For
instance how do open a revolving door? For fast food restaurants, do
you open the first door then run in front of them to get the next?
Miscues can get you cut eyes and maybe even a Neverary 32nd date.
The following is the outcome of a month long sting investigation.
The Double Door-
Believe it or not, I had a woman give me the side eye because I
didn’t run to the second set of doors to open it. This is right after
I opened the entrance door just two seconds ago. (B**** you could’ve
slowed up!) Needless to say I don’t hang with her anymore. If you are
concerned about how to spin this into a chivalrous act, open the first
door with you in front of her. Then get her attention with something
random. Crack a quick joke or touch her on the hand. While she’s
looking at you, use your special multitasking skills to grab the next
door to let her in.
Automatic Opening Door-
Really? Them shits open for you. But some women still feel a need to be let
in first. I say by all means. It gives us a great view of dat ass anyway.
The Revolving Door-
Just let her go first. I try to control the speed of the door. Why?
Cause I can.
Subway Door-
I live in NYC so fend for yourself biatch!
Elevator Door-
Let them go in first and let them off first. Why? See automatic door.
Slide Doors-
Slide then step aside.
I think that covers it all. If you choose to go the “knight in shining armor” route,
follow the above. Guy code guidelines do apply here as well… for the love of all
that surrounds us, please do not waste such chivalry on the unworthy.
Yeah I said it.