I admit, I wasn’t going to write about this at first.
By now, the world has seen the latest photo from the on-again/off-again
sideshow that the bond between Chris Brown and Rihanna has become. This
picture was from Riri’s Instagram account, from after a show in Germany last
week. Like everyone else, I shook my head. Under different circumstances,
this would be one of those ‘awwwwww’ pictures we expect and cherish from
young lovers with a lifetime of promise ahead of them. But not with a duo
that has become today’s version of Ike & Tina Turner in some way. And we
do know they don’t care what others think - outside of what publicity it will
get them that they can translate to fans and dollars. Writing an article about
the whole thing got slightly tiresome and didn’t hold my interest.
Until yesterday morning, at 10:18 A.M.
That was when I first got wind of the tragedy that took place in Kansas City.
That was when we all got news that Jovan Belcher, a linebacker for the Chiefs
football team, had shot and killed his girlfriend, Kassandra Perkins at their
home in front of his own mother at the height of an argument. He then drove
15 minutes to the team’s practice facility at Arrowhead Stadium where, in front
of his head coach and general manager with police pulling up, he killed himself.
This tragedy has one immediate victim left in its wake, the couple’s infant daughter,
Zoe. There are still so many questions unanswered, but there is an unsettling
tone throughout it all. One that links these two situations together.
We can sit and look at Chris Brown & RiRi and throw our hands up in the air or
as some do, ask why they’re being reviled for their behavior. But one thing that
can’t happen is, we can’t cast this aside because it’s a visible, teachable moment.
One that says that there sometimes are no red flags as to who can be prone to
commit acts of domestic violence. By all accounts, Belcher was a good dude that
made it to the NFL undrafted out of the University of Maine. Likeable, helpful. But
as news reports came in, it became apparent that he was prone to fits of anger.
Mostly related to relationship issues. We have to ask if people took note of this
and if so, let it slide because he was a good dude. The pregame tribute at the game
in Kansas City made no mention of his name, simply honoring those who lost their
lives due to domestic violence. His suicide doesn’t and can’t blot out the fact that
he killed the mother of his child over an argument over a concert. Jovan Belcher
couldn’t control his anger and destroyed lives in the process, including his own.
Which brings me back to Chris Brown. Why I think these two situations are linked
is due to the fact that Breezy has shown that he is volatile. Just a week and a half
ago, he got into a Twitter spat with a comedienne and had to deactivate his account
after threatening to ‘s—- in her eye.’ What he did to Rihanna is inexcuasble. But it
all stems from his own mounting anger issues and being consoled by people, even
Rihanna, who won’t pull his coat to talk to him about it. We’re all looking at Chris &
Rihanna publicly reconciling and hoping nothing horrible will happen, but expecting
that byline that will validate our fears. I write about these two because they should
be held up as a visual lesson. We can stand aside and be indifferent and cynical, but
when we do that, we run that risk of bad things taking place. There’s thousands of
women and men going through this situation right now and it is imperative that we
do not remain silent. Talk to the young men and stress to them how they need to
control that rage and let go of machismo. Talk to the young women and teach them
how to recognize increasing signs of domestic violence and how to act. Because
domestic violence is still a huge part of this American disturbia that is on display
for all to see. Let’s not be passive bystanders anymore.