Chad Ochocinco isn't the first football player to fumble the ball. But
this kind of fumble marks you as having something worse than soft
hands. He's fighting off severe criticism because his reality TV show,
'The Ultimate Catch' has almost no Black women vying to win his heart
in front of millions. In fact, there's been some claims that Ochocinco
himself made sure that was the case during auditions leading to the
taping of the first episode. The backlash has spilled out over the 'Net
and has led to some obviously uncomfortable moments for the star
Cincinatti Bengals wideout, notably when he appeared on the 'Wendy
Williams' show.
Are you surprised though? Really?
All of Ochocinco's antics are part and parcel of the separate reality that
athletes occupy. This shouldn't surprise anyone if it's deliberate. You
could rattle off a list of athletes of color, and actors and actresses for
that matter, who have chosen to be in interracial relationships. In this
case, it does suggest that Chad has an issue with Black women. And
that speaks to a more troubling aspect of his personality, something
which he might have to deal with on his own time. It doesn't mean a
hill of beans to me. But the reaction from some people has caught me
off guard. There's a lot of sisters who want to take this man to task
for disrespecting Black women by not allowing them to compete for
his affections on his show. To them, I say: fall back. You're mad that
a football player isn't allowing a sister to effectively try to win the
lottery aka date him on national television? Ridiculous. I think a few
of them are mad because they don't have access to someone of that
stature. And that anger suggests that you wouldn't mind being a
trophy, which is no attitude a woman should EVER have. Colleges have
made a mint pushing that twisted 'to the victor go the spoils' policy
for years. Black women are hard to deal with, and White women are
easy. False, and false again.
It's no secret that Black men and Black women have their respective
issues when it comes to dating and relationships and communication.
As much as the media at large would like you to believe we corner the
market on such dysfunction, we don't. Watch a 'Snapped' marathon
on the Oxygen network as proof. But what Ochocinco's situation showed
me is that there's a lot of elements at play with that discord. The first
element is, Black women do face issues finding a mate due to societal
issues plaguing Black men like imprisonment, unemployment or low
employment. Then there are the players, and other cats who mess
around on top of that. It leaves them cautious. But on the flip side of
that, you have some sisters who shun some brothers for superficial
reasons. If you doubt me, go to a club or a show and observe the
craziness on both sides of the equation. I can tell you that I've been
in situations where I definitely got more shade hanging out with a
White woman thrown at me by sisters who may or may not have paid
attention to me if I was by myself. I've even had people misconstrue
stuff I've said online to suggest that I discriminate against women of
color. I know that the only way to combat any of this is to address
the stuff as it comes up with respect, understanding and productive
discourse. There's work to be done on both sides. And let's face it,
Chad might be more successful catching some ambitious bird on a
TV show than the winning touchdown in a Super Bowl.